Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy - Book reviews of Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy

'Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy' book reviews

Review for'Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy'

“Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy” by Jessica Fern is a groundbreaking exploration of the intersection between attachment theory, trauma, and nonmonogamous relationships. This book offers an in-depth understanding of how individuals can cultivate secure and fulfilling connections in the context of consensual nonmonogamy (CNM). Fern, a psychotherapist specializing in trauma and relationships, deftly combines psychological insights with practical advice, making this book an invaluable resource for anyone navigating the complexities of nonmonogamous relationships.

One of the standout aspects of “Polysecure” is its comprehensive examination of attachment theory. Fern provides a thorough explanation of the different attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—and how they manifest in relationships. She goes beyond the basics to discuss how these attachment styles can be influenced by past traumas and how they play out in the context of CNM. This nuanced approach allows readers to gain a deeper understanding of their own attachment patterns and how they impact their relationships.

The book also excels in its discussion of trauma. Fern doesn’t shy away from the difficult topics, addressing how past traumas can affect attachment and relationship dynamics. She offers compassionate and insightful guidance on how individuals can heal from their traumas and create healthier attachment patterns. Her emphasis on self-awareness and personal growth is particularly empowering, as it encourages readers to take an active role in their own healing process.

“Polysecure” is also notable for its inclusive and nonjudgmental approach to consensual nonmonogamy. Fern acknowledges the diversity of CNM practices and emphasizes that there is no one-size-fits-all approach. She provides practical advice on how to navigate the unique challenges of CNM, such as managing jealousy, establishing boundaries, and maintaining open communication. Her emphasis on consent and mutual respect is a refreshing and necessary perspective in the often-misunderstood world of nonmonogamous relationships.

One of the most valuable aspects of “Polysecure” is its practical exercises and tools. Fern provides readers with concrete strategies for building secure attachment in their relationships, whether they are monogamous or nonmonogamous. These exercises are designed to foster self-awareness, improve communication, and strengthen emotional bonds. They are grounded in psychological principles and are easy to implement, making them accessible to readers of all backgrounds.

While “Polysecure” is an excellent resource for individuals in nonmonogamous relationships, it is also highly relevant for those in monogamous relationships. The insights and tools provided in the book can be applied to any type of relationship, making it a valuable addition to anyone’s relationship toolkit. Fern’s writing is clear, compassionate, and engaging, making complex psychological concepts accessible to a wide audience.

In conclusion, “Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy” is a must-read for anyone interested in understanding and improving their relationships. Jessica Fern’s integration of attachment theory, trauma, and CNM is both innovative and practical. The book offers a wealth of knowledge and tools that can help individuals create more secure, fulfilling, and resilient relationships. Whether you are in a nonmonogamous relationship or simply interested in deepening your understanding of attachment and trauma, “Polysecure” is an invaluable resource that deserves a place on your bookshelf.

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